Season 1 – Episode 3 – Ebony Sunset

“It’s ugly as fuck, but I didn’t get angry.” – Joan

This one starts with the horror of black gesso…BUT BOB DOESN’T TELL YOU THIS UNTIL YOU’RE 7 MINUTES IN…so you’re watching him start…and the canvas is dark and he says something like “I started this before you joined because of time.  I’ve just finished putting a coat of Alizarin Crimson down.”  You look at what’s there and think…mother fucker that’s a shit ton of alizarin crimson down to make it look so dark (it’s transparent…) but ok…and while you’re puttering around getting set up and just letting Bob blather in the background…he drops the little jewel of info that you’re painting on a BLACK GESSOED CANVAS and there’s the rage…and relief cause, well…you hadn’t started yet.

25 Bob Minutes Later…1 hour of regular human time… [an aside: You should know…23 minutes into Bob’s 25 minute lesson, you think… “Well now, that’s fine. We’re about done…”  That’s when BOB pulls forty eleven painting tricks out of his back pocket and suddenly you’re supposed to be painting BOULDERS – A PATH – MORE BUSHES – A WATER FALL and who the fuck knows what else…Joan took a deep breath and just filled in the corner with bushes…just lovely peaceful little bushes…because it’s her world.]

There was extra paint…and as Joan wasn’t enraged…an unguided experiment.

Yes, you can have mountains in 20 minutes.